A satirical series of speculative luxury products created by Mother, commenting on the obscene environmental impact of private jet travel and celebrity indulgence.
All captured in a high-gloss, oversized, overpriced magazine shipped - globally, of course - to you. Or available as a free download here for those who feel more comfortable perched on the high horse of sustainability.
48 pages of high-gloss offset printing
11 × 14" format
Hand-numbered limited edition
Printed in London
Includes digital access
BabyTunes introduces a new era of parental coping through sound design. By turning tears into tune, distress into composition, it reframes the chaos of early parenthood as a kind of avant-garde duet between human fragility and modern technology. Each cry is tuned, time-stretched, and harmonized into something smoother, richer, and far more listenable than reality — a soft, rhythmic reassurance that maybe everything’s going to be fine. Or at least, it sounds like it is.
Investor Opportunity
Currently a prototype and investor opportunity, BabyTunes is available for licensing, partnership, or further development.
Material: Polished maple wood body, brushed metal hardware
"Parent" unit dimensions: H 6" × Ø 3.5"
"Child" unit dimensions: H 4" × Ø 3"
Speaker: Hi-Fi 2" full-range
Connection: USB-C (for charging and track updates)
Wireless: Wi-Fi signal range up to 75 m
Power: Rechargeable lithium battery
Finish: Hand-polished maple, soft-touch control knobs
Audio: Ten pre-loaded R&B-inspired tracks
Function: Converts cry audio input to tuned melodic output in real time
The Most Successful Gift is made with 100% solid glass and health concerns for the people you give gifts to.
WARNING: Do not attempt to smoke The Most Successful Gift.
Dimensions
W 11.2” D 1.96” H 3.74”
Weight 16.5 lbs
Please allow up to two weeks for international shipping from China.
The Polar Pillow is a made-to-order travel accessory for long-distance flyers. Each piece is handcrafted from polar bear fur, selected for its density, softness, and uniform texture. The crescent design provides balanced head and neck support during rest.
Produced in limited quantities and individually numbered. Delivery times vary by season and availability.
Made from 100% endangered Polar Bear fur.
Part of "The Jet Issue", Mother’s commentary on the comforts – and costs – of private jet travel.
We are giving away our Riffraft prototype to one very lucky person!
To enter the Riffraffle, click “Add to Cart,” check out for free, and bam! You’ve entered. No cost, no chaos. Just a chance at a free death trap with zero indemnification clause.
Used
May not support the weight of a human
Lasts 70 years
There’s no good health without good fortune. Flaunt yours, with Premium—the ultimate in healthcare statuswear!
Premium is an 18k gold-plated sterling silver hospital bracelet that lets everyone know “you’re better.” Because universal accessibility would be fascist, Premium is made-to-order! Yours now for only $7,911, the average yearly cost for single coverage health insurance in America.
Laughter is for poor people—medicine is the best medicine! Get Premium!
Size frail
2.5" x 2.5" x 1"
18k gold-plated sterling silver
Proceeds help us pay for more dog vitamins
Activists and collaborators: contact us for partnership opportunities.
Get your koozies now!
Robe & Slippers not for sale.
Made in the USA, baby
*Not tested for effectiveness
The Gay Blood Collection:
Gay Blood Acrylic Paint
Gay Blood Fountain Pen
Gay Blood Screen Printing Ink
Gay Blood Paint Pen
Gay Blood Spray Paint
Made with the blood of gay men
100% safe to use
100% made for change
Store in a cool, dry place far away from homophobes
Very expensive phone case for your expensive phone.
Made to order with 2-3 months lead time.
Available is machined stainless steel plated in rose gold, 18k gold, or platinum.
Available in 18K solid gold upon request.
Available in 18K solid gold with Pavé diamond upon request.
All proceeds go to War Child, an organization dedicated to making sure no child has to hear the sounds of war again.
Sold out? Good. In the UK text 'SAFE' to 70123 to donate £10
Each LullaBombs device starts at £449.00 with additional charges:
Privilege Fee: £1,001
Lucky Tax: £617
Safety Surcharge: £384
Total Price: £2,500.00
If shipping outside the UK, please contact info@mother-goods.com
Comes in 6 different wars
Housed in an inert landmine
3 modes of authentic war sounds
Immersive explosion nightlight